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During the hardest days of our daughter’s fight with cancer, my wife and I needed some form of release from the daily stress and pressure.  We both found that relief in an unexpected place.  We realized that doing one small thing each day for someone else helped take our eyes off of ourselves and our hardship.  Suffering dissipates, even if only momentarily, when we look beyond ourselves.  In this way, the “small acts” did much more for us than it did for the recipients.  This is usually the case.

Small acts have the ability to change the whole tone of a day.  Small acts punctuate dull, difficult days with joy and relief from self-obsession.

How might we practice Small Acts?

  • Live Kindness– Simple acts of unsolicited kindness feed our spirit in deep ways.  When we are stressed, making the conscious choice to show kindness to someone we encounter rather than impatience changes the whole tenor of a day.
  • Give Out– Giving helps us get outside of ourselves.  Whether it is a physical gift, a financial gift, or simply lending a hand where needed, giving to someone else frees us.  The size of the act is not important, the effort is.
  • Open to Wonder– Taking a moment to step outside and revel in the wonder of creation helps us discover much-needed perspective when stress and suffering are driving us toward tunnel vision.
  • Extend Compassion– Imparting grace heals us as much as it helps the person to whom we have extended the grace.  When we realize that others are suffering as we are, even if we cannot immediately see it, compassion comes more naturally.
  • Take a Small Rest– We need grace also.  Taking a rest when it feels like we cannot afford the time is an act of grace to ourselves.  The world will go on without us.  We can always catch up.
  • Practice Patience– When life is tough, patience shrinks.  Choose the small act of being patient with those nearest you.  Fight the temptation to lash out.
  • Find Joy – Have as a goal in the tough times to find joy somewhere in your day. It may be a smile from someone, a phone call, or a walk. When life is beating us up, joy is elusive unless we choose to go out and actively look for it. Find that joy each day and keep a short journal of your findings.

Our days are not experienced in large chunks of months and years, but in days, hours, and minutes. When we step back, get perspective, and then reach out in small ways to live our hours well, then the hardest struggles get slightly easier. Suffering may not go away. The causes of stress will not likely disappear. But our ability to stand through life’s difficult seasons are made more bearable as we find the joy of practicing “small acts.”

Join the discussion 36 Comments

  • Monica F Rawles says:

    Tommy,
    There is oh so much truth in your post! I am copying, pasting and printing your bullet points. Thank you!

    • Thanks, Monica!!!

    • Randee says:

      Kindness is a virtue I didn’t actually understand and rarely extended, until others extended & example during my scariest moments; you & Weezie being two of those gracious friends. God is so in the smallest moments in a glance, a helping hand, a pray, a card, a word of encouragement…blessed human encounters. Changes me in concrete ways as you have others?

  • Michael Whitten says:

    Amen

  • Val says:

    You and Weezie have been a beautiful witness of love in this way, Tommy. Love is stronger than suffering, stronger than death. I’ve many times been the recipient of your small acts of kindness! They are balm to all!

  • Jesse Clark says:

    Thank you, Tommy, for these words of hope. No book or magazine article could have expressed these practical recommendations any better or with clearer purpose.

  • Donna Word says:

    Excellent post. Thanks for sharing from your wisdom gained during one of life’s hardest trials. I’m going to hang on to this one.

  • Luke Walker says:

    Well said as always!

  • Sherry Sharp says:

    Love this, Tommy. Thank you!

  • Karen lovell says:

    Tommy, so helpful for me to pass onto our Stephen Ministers as they work with those in need. Thank you for fresh insights..

  • Rachael Whitten says:

    “Reach out in small ways to live our hours well.” This is hard to do but so important. I tend to think that my suffering/stress will be gone in the future once X, Y, and Z happen. This post is a good reminder to learn how to live life well NOW, even with existing stress or pain.

  • Laurie Chalifoux says:

    Dear Tommie,
    You and Weazie are so gracious. I love these suggestions and will pass them on.

  • Richard H Kemper says:

    Amen. So many great points. Love the use of grace. Patience is so important, Thinking of others instead of just yourself is so important. Thanks for the post and food for though for us all.

  • Suzie says:

    I always appreciate your perspective, Tommy. Great reminders! I remain amazed at you and your family throughout Perrin’s illness. You all remained kind, patient and faithful. Amazing!

  • Staffardnett Young says:

    Amen

  • Lauralee Allen says:

    I’m in awe of you and Weezie. This is such a beautiful reminder. Love to you all.

  • Goode Sunny says:

    Beautiful and so so true 🙂

  • Abby says:

    To pull myself away from depression and anxiety, reaching out to beloved friends and trying not to isolate myself has been the best medicine, coupled with random acts of giving and making sure I say hi to people at the store who have their heads down, etc. I choose to be a light in someone’s day whenever possible hoping the light will carry on!

  • Sally Golliday says:

    Tommy thank you from the bottom of my heart-truly I cried when I was done reading your blog. After losing Jamie so unexpectedly and so quickly (3 1/2 weeks ) I have been beyond devastated and so sad plus lost.. My precious Carly is just hurting beyond words,lost her best friend and her dreams in that amount of time too. I Love her with all my heart and so want to help her but I am just not sure I have any answers because her pain is so deep. I loved Jamie like a son so my heart is broken because I lost him and for my Carly. You gave me things to strive to do daily to handle my grief and I thank you so much for that. If anyone knows what I,Harry Miller and Carly R going through it’s you and your wonderful family-I’ve think of you all often for strength. Bless you all n love to all-Sally

    • Sally, Weezie and I have been thinking and praying for your family so much over these weeks. The grief and loss are overwhelming! I am glad these words were a small help. Please know we are here for y’all any time if you need someone to talk to. Our hearts are with you. Weezie sends her love too! Love to you – Tommy

  • Susanna Fowlkes Sauvain says:

    Tommy, I think about your sweet daughter’s blog she kept during her time on earth and am reminded of the many kindnesses she did for those who read them. Her life and fight encouraged so many too! Those were little acts of kindness with long range effects. I remember your above points in her writing. Thanks for the blessings . – Susanna

  • Diann Mitchell says:

    Your words are so true and meaningful; I found this to be so important for my healing after my husband died of cancer. I know God wanted me to give back to others during their hard times.
    I am thanking God, you shared your family hurts and your healing to help others in their suffering.

    I am going to copy and paste with your permission.

    Thank you Tommy.

  • Carolyn says:

    This post is so filled with truth, Tommy. Doing what ever God leads you to do, to whomever He places in your path keeps me looking for these opportunities and getting my focus off of my self.

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