Growing up, I played gin rummy with my father quite a bit. It would frustrate me to no end that he usually won. We dealt ten random cards and somehow he would end up winning. Some of the hands dealt to him were good; some were not so good. Occasionally, when he was dealt a bad hand he would shake his head and say, “You’ve got to play the hand that is dealt you.” Then he would proceed to beat me.
We have all been dealt very different hands in our lives. Some hands are great, many are just average, and some are downright awful. The hand we are dealt changes from season to season. The tendency, as I showed all to often as a child, is to place too much emphasis on the hand dealt and not enough on how we play the hand. Many of us spend far too much time comparing our hands to everyone else’s hands, either in bitterness or pride, without realizing that whether we like it or not, it is our responsibility, and ours only, to play the hand that is dealt us. We can complain or check out, but even those choices are a sort of playing of the hand.
We have all known and admired those we have seen who prospered under the worst of circumstances. We have also known those who have wasted the greatest of opportunities. The truth of the matter is that we are all in the same boat, having to overcome obstacles and maximize opportunities. The difference is only one of degree. Jesus communicated this when He told the parable of the talents, comparing three people who had been given one, two, and five talents. In other words, each person was dealt a different hand. The issue, according to Jesus, was not how many talents you were given but what you did with the talents given you.
I have been through a long, hard, wintry season of life for many years now; one in which I have often been tempted to feel sorry for myself and wonder why I was dealt such a lousy hand. Yet when I look around, so many people have it hard. Pain and grief are universal. And in the midst of the pain, blessings abound. In the midst of the pain, growth occurs and the soul deepens. Blessings and trials, good hands and bad hands have been dealt each one of us. Will we blame? Will we complain? How will we play the hand dealt us?”
Reminds me of the quote, “Play it as it lies.” from Happy Gilmore haha
Great Post DD!
Thanks!
This means so much coming from you, Tommy. Thank you for this wisdom, dealt out in plain words and kind truth.
Thank you Val!
Amen and Thank You
Thanks Tom!
Great thoughts. Having gone thru cancer and endured (still enduring) extreme trials with my stepson, it’s easy to withdraw and just “get by”. Making the choice daily to rise above the anger and fear and pain is not always easy. I’ve spent many days in the bed…just sleeping. But living is better. Getting out there can be hard to get living. It’s a daily struggle. But I remember the “old me”. That’s my goal…or a version of her. Before it all. Happy and smiling and full of life. My family deserves that and so do I. Prayer helps me. And every day I remind myself I can’t change these things. So chin up Rana!!! So much to live for.
Thanks Rana! I hope and believe that the “old you”, full of smiles and happiness will return.
I’m reminded of a close friend of mine calling me several years ago to tell me that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had no idea what to say to comfort him as pancreatic cancer is pretty much a death warrant. But he was seemingly unfazed by it, determined to do his best to lick it, but in the end reckonizing it was the “hand that he was dealt”.
I would give anything for a redial of the hand dealt to me that included losing Kate. Although I guess it technically was the hand she was dealt, but I feel like I was a part of it. However, when I think of poor hands I and Kate were dealt, it is very hard for me to blame or feel but so sorry for myself, because of my pancreatic friend and multiple others friends of mine that have lost children ( that includes you and Weezie) under more onerous conditions. ❤️
Thanks for sharing Bill! We don’t get to choose the hand we are dealt, but isn’t it good to know that one day we will see so much more clearly that God is good and kind, even in the worst of life’s circumstances. It is hard to always feel this though.
Whew!!! Yes! There is nothing to do but play the hand that was given you. How you play it is the deep message. You and Weezie were a class act through six years of heart ache. Losing a child is the world’s hardest trial for a parent, one that never never goes away. I, as a grandmother, have to carry it in my heart, along with the love and memories which are God’s gift to those of us left behind. I am so grateful for those special gifts and as I get old understand even more that memories are a loving reality and knowing meeting agin is a given.
The recent years have been hard on many of us. You have always been a tower of strength and encouragement for us. Thank you! Love you!
Tommy, for me, the greatest personal growth, especially faith related, has come from the greatest hardships. Once I learned to call on God when in those dark valleys, many prayers were answered. Often, the answer came from a direction I could not have imagined, nor created in a novel. The lesson you share in your post is invaluable. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thanks for the encouragement Fred!
What a beautiful heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing. Your mom’s sweet words brought tears to my grandma eyes. The words to this old hymn are so perfect.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sov’reign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow’r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.
Such powerful words Donna! I love “The clouds ye so much dread Are big with mercy and shall break In Blessings on your head.”
Thanks for sharing!!!!
Always insightful and motivating. Thank you for sharing. Nice seeing you this past weekend.
Thanks! Good seeing you too, Harry. Hope I will see you more this summer!
Great Post! We grow through the tough times. Love it!
I love the personal Inspiration and insight Tommy!
Each day presents us the opportunity to begin again, just like each hand of Gin Rummy.
It’s our attitudes and state of mind which often influences the outcomes.
In the face of adversity we tackle or avoid the challenges or alternatively, choose to reflect and assess the situation at hand. Sometimes you need to let the fields fallow, then see what presents itself. This is the current situation I find myself in. Rather than jump back in with both feet, I felt drawn to reflect and wait for life to lead instead of pushing forward under my own will. This is new territory for me having had the necessity to find my own path since a very early age.
The fact that we may have obtained a modicum of success in our past doesn’t mean we could not have had other even greater opportunities if, we had been patient enough to step back and try have a sense of a more expansive perspective.
If we can find the courage to live spirituality, introspectively, openly, a richness and quality of life may be there for us. As a soon to be five year survivor of head & neck cancer, I have begun to trust that the hand were dealt is exactly what is required for our spiritual growth.
Begin each day a new with humble thankfulness understanding that is gift.. Appreciate all the spiritual gifts of friendship you have been give for they will help sustain you and you them!
Thanks Dan! You obviously know more than most what it feels like to be dealt an unexpected hand. I relate! As a result, there is a depth and richness (and pain) that would never be known if all was always well. Thank you for sharing your heart and real experience. Blessings to you!
Loved this, Tommy! Great reminder! When we look around, almost everyone is going thru something hard, just in different degrees of hard. Despite the hardships (and blessings) of Perrin, you and Weez and the boys have been so inspirational in your faith and perseverance. Loved your mom’s comments too! Love you all! Keep writing……looking forward to your next post!!!
Thanks so much Suzie! Your support over all these past years has meant more than you will over know! Love you!