Is self-awareness a new personal growth fad? Why spend so much time on trying to become self-aware? Isn’t the effort another example of our tendency to be obsessed with ourselves? Often, that is the case. I have to admit, at times, I really enjoy thinking about myself. But self-awareness need not equal self-obsession. 

We need the ability to see ourselves clearly. If we are not self-aware, we are relegated to deceiving ourselves on virtually every front. Not seeing ourselves objectively, our relationship with God becomes stunted. God is the author of truth. If we are unable or unwilling to deal with the truth about ourselves, we effectively hold God at arm’s length. 

Apart from an appropriate self-awareness, our relationship with others stagnates at a surface level, because we are incapable of bringing our real selves to the table. David prayed in the Psalms. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps 139: 23-24) Proverbs advises us, “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” (Prov 20:5) 

The problem is that we all have blind spots of which we are unaware. If it were simply a matter of wanting to be self-aware, many more people would have attained the lofty heights. How do we actually make progress in becoming self-aware? Or stated another way, since we all have blind spots, how do we see what we are blind to? The very definition of “blind spot” implies that we are not aware that we have the blind spot.

Here are several suggestions that can help us move the needle in our quest to become aware of our blind spots. Realize, though, that self-awareness is a lifetime journey.

• Pay attention to persistent negative emotions and reactions.Ask yourself, “why did that situation make me so angry?” “Why am I feeling so much anxiety? Look for the deeper “why” that is found beneath the specific actions or words.
• Use journaling to probe more deeply. Journal not to just record the events, but to explore your motives and insecurities. The act of writing down our thoughts often serves to bring greater clarity to what was jumbled in our minds previously.
• Build friendships that serve as mirrors.Since we cannot be expected to always see ourselves clearly, others can help us see what we cannot see – if we give them explicit permission to speak honestly to us. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Prov 27:17)
• Scripture exposes what lurks in the shadows.If we read Scripture with an ear to what the Holy Spirit might be whispering, we might begin to see ourselves in its stories. Scripture is replete with examples that shine a light on the deeper motives of the heart (i.e. – Jesus and the rich young ruler).
• Self-assessments can be helpful if used well. The Enneagram is particularly helpful because it addresses the unhealthy tendencies that accompany each personality type. This can help us be aware of where we might struggle.
• Don’t forget your strength.Too often self-awareness is used as another means to make us feel small and unworthy. If viewed out of balance, we may spend so much time thinking how bad we are that we forget that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13) A self-aware person is just as aware of their strengths and gifts as they are of their weaknesses and blind spots.

As we become more self-aware over the years, we will find more peace internally and better relationships externally. Self-awareness keeps us from needing to work so hard to protect our image. Self-awareness actually frees us from self-obsession. Self-awareness is the road to becoming the person God created us to be – honest, authentic, loving, vulnerable and strong.