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Forgiveness is such a sticky and confusing issue!  How do we forgive when we are hurt so deeply?  How do we keep from being taken advantage of when we forgive?  Do we need to tell the person we have forgiven them?  What if the person isn’t sorry for what they did, or doesn’t even know that they hurt us?  The questions go on and on.

The anguish that so many people suffer could never be trivialized.  Surviving abuse, betrayal, or unfaithfulness, just to name a few, calls for counseling and divine healing.  In these cases, finding forgiveness may be a long, painful journey.  But what about the many times each day friends, family, and co-workers wound us in smaller ways?  How do we understand and practice forgiveness daily?

  • Forgiveness begins with realizing the magnitude with which God has forgiven us.  Jesus tells a parable with a clear message; if God has forgiven us a million times, how can we justify withholding forgiveness a few times?  The more we are in touch with God’s forgiveness of us, the more natural it will be for us to offer grace to others.
  • Forgiveness has no limits, either in the number of times or in the seriousness of the offenses we are called to forgive.  When Peter asked Jesus if forgiveness extended seven times, Jesus said forgive not just seven times, but seven times seventy.
  • Forgiveness does not depend at all on the person we forgive.  At the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  He forgave His killers, even though they did not ask for His forgiveness.  Those we forgive may not know they hurt us.  They may think we are too sensitive.  Forgiving has nothing to do with the other person asking or accepting our forgiveness.
  • Sometimes we need to forgive the same single offense over and over.  I hate to admit it, but what I forgive today I often dredge back up tomorrow.  Then, I have to forgive all over again.  True forgiveness often does not come without considerable struggle.
  • Small irritations need forgiveness too.  Unresolved small slights that feel too minor to require forgiveness tend to pile up until they become major blow-ups.  Families, in particular, could become a refuge from the harshness of the world around us if we could learn to let go of small grievances.  Choosing to overlook small annoyances is a form of forgiveness, maybe one of the most impactful forms.

Recently, the words of the Casting Crowns song, “Broken Together,” overwhelmed me.  The song tells the story of a couple who fell in love, married, and then drifted apart through wounds, neglect, and the passage of time.  In hopes of finding reconciliation in the midst of the hurt, the lyrics ask the question.  “Could we just be broken together?”

Life takes on a different hue when we come to accept that we are all broken people desperately needing to come together in spite of our brokenness.  When will we stop fighting, in our families, in our communities, as a nation, and begin to live broken together?  When will we humble ourselves and stop judging everyone who is slightly different from us?  I am broken, and I know that you are broken.  Forgiveness, in all its complexities and irresolvable nuance, can change the world, by first changing us.

Who do you need to forgive today?  Where do you need to let go of small irritations?  Who do you need to stop judging?  Can we agree to be broken together?

 

Watch the music video of “Broken Together” here: https://youtu.be/RhxELo-uD3c

 

 

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Kathy Whote says:

    Great words! I loved the song and video. Brought tears to my eyes. Thanks, Tommy! “Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete…”. I think so much of our disappointment in marriage in our culture today is believing the lie of the soul mate – finding someone to complete us. It causes people to delay marriage in hopes of finding that perfect other half, or causes many to give up there marriage when they find their spouse isn’t the “perfect fit.” The only way we are complete is in our relationship with Christ – He is the only one who can complete us! That gives us the freedom to be “broken together.” Hugs to you, Tmooy!

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